Emotion and Dis-ease
Nowadays, more and more people are having physical problems without knowing the cause. Often, the doctors are unable to diagnose the problems, and the medication cannot stop the pain or the dis-ease. The medications developed by large pharmaceutical companies try to stop or ease certain symptoms, but at the same time cause or create other physical problems and symptoms. If you pay attention to the advertisements of the new medicines on television, you will notice the controversy and conflicts in their disclaimer statement at the end of the ad.
Why do we have health problems? What causes our illness? Can we stop our pain and heal our dis-ease? The answer is a simple and certain – “Yes, we can!” I do believe that we can heal our health problems and disease once we understand the root cause and source of our condition. In fact, most of our physical problems are not the true cause or source, but the manifestation of our repressed energy as we hold onto our emotions, have ‘negative’ thoughts and thinking patterns, and lead an unbalanced life through our eating habits and life style. Yes, the environment that we live with, our diet, life style, eating habits all have an impact on our physical well-being. We need to remember that we, as a soul and a creator, are fully responsible for our situation. One of the most important factors that contributes to our physical problems and well-being is how we deal with our own emotions and our emotional interactions with others.
The Earth Plane is a giant playground in the school of life. Its ruler is the Moon – the mother of emotions. As such, all our life lessons, karma and past life issues are playing out through our emotional interactions with the world – people, media, events and environment – personally, individually and collectively. Nobody is immune from emotion once we have entered the Earthy school of life. However, it is emotion that has entangled and linked us all to the wheel of reincarnation. The game of life is all about emotional detachment from our own emotions as well as from others whom we have interacted with from past incarnations and are interacting with in our current life. Unfortunately, from social media, television, news, movies, worldly events and political agendas, to our personal relationships and individual life; we are all fueled and fed by emotions! We are so used to playing the emotional game that we don’t realize the damage we are doing to the evolution of our own soul spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.
Maitreya, my teacher from the Higher Realms of the world of Spirit always emphasized the importance of learning emotional detachment. He wrote in one of his messages, “All emotion is energy. From the moment you think about something it becomes energy! Just imagine that, then imagine not releasing that energy, but keeping it within you to fester and bubble away like a boil or a big sore on your body. I can see some of you expressing disgust at this statement, but this is what happens when you do not express your feelings, do not speak your truth quietly and clearly, and do not deal with past life energy.” – from Maitreya Quotes App.
This is a very simple statement, but very true to the core of the root cause of our physical problems and health issues. In fact, if we hold onto the emotions or emotional issues, the hang-over emotions and emotional issues will eventually manifest as health problems and create physical disease or illness. My own learning and experience in dealing with my physical problems has been a living testimonial for me of Maitreya’s message.
As I wrote in my previous writings, on January 15th of 2010 when the Solar Eclipse of 25 degrees Capricorn was in an exact conjunction with my natal Chiron, it created a huge healing crisis in my relationship with my father, who had passed away seven years earlier, but the issues I had with him I had repressed and not dealt with. On the day of the Solar Eclipse, Maitreya, through his deep trance channel Margaret McElroy, talked to me about my issues with my father which I thought I had already dealt with, but he told me that I had only dealt with a small part or the surface portion of the energy. He said I needed to continue to work on it, and that I had to work on it much harder, because the depth of the repressed energy was so big and deep. Then, he assisted me by pulling the “etheric plug” and the repressed energy started flowing to the physical, it immediately created severe stomach pain for me that day while Margaret was still talking to me. I then did 3 hours of meditation to talk to my father in Spirit with all the F* words I wanted to scream at him but had never expressed. I then wrote 14 pages to him to release all my unexpressed emotions, feelings, thoughts and words towards him. It was a huge healing crisis for me. Afterwards, the energy was completely shifted between us. Since that day, whenever I think or talk about him, I no longer have any uneasy feelings or emotions towards him but feel pure love and gratitude to him.
After this healing process, I thought I had dealt with the issues and lessons around my father and cleared all the energy around men and authority. Unfortunately, I was wrong again! A while ago, Spirit channeled through Alan to me that although I had cleared some heavy energy from my past, the root was still untouched. If the root was still residing within me, it would soon come back and grow stronger and tougher. I listened but I did not completely understand as I did not know how I should get in touch with the root until early this year.
On December 21st, 2017, the transit Saturn entered the zodiac sign of Capricorn, and it was making a conjunction to my North Node in Capricorn, and approaching a conjunction with my natal Chiron, on top of this, Pluto in Capricorn was also forming a close conjunction to my natal Chiron. The taskmaster Saturn and the transformer Pluto were both working together to force me to dig deeper into my own dark subconscious which either I was not completely aware of, or my Self did not want to face. This has created a series of physical ailments and healing crisis physically and emotionally for me to deal with as the energy manifested to the surface. I started to have excruciating pain in the physical organs, along with high blood sugar and high blood pressure problems. The pain often occurs unexpectedly, and when it occurs, it is intensive and excruciating. I often feel as if the life force is leaving me and I am dying. I am not scared that I would die, but I was suffering, crying, and feeling hopeless with such intensive and excruciating pain regardless how many healing modalities I tried. This long and constant healing process forced me to go deep within, work on forgiveness, letting go and total acceptance with tremendous patience.
What I have experienced is personal proof to me of what Margaret/Maitreya told me eight years ago that the repressed issues and energies in my subconscious were so deep and big, it is not a one-time thing to deal with, but a lifetime process to heal myself. This process has allowed me to look at myself with total honesty. First of all, I have had to learn to communicate with, and especially listen to my body organs attentively, in order to release the related emotions, thoughts and thinking patterns; secondly, the release process required me to truly forgive and let go of the people and events that I was holding onto emotionally; This healing process has completely convinced me that all these physical pains were not only caused by my own emotions, but I was also the only person responsible for these emotions. I finally realized that I had a habit of sulking and seething in the past and past lives. I habitually held all my emotions inside and blamed others for my own unhappiness and lack of fulfillment, and I never expressed my feelings or communicated how I felt with anyone. I held onto the sulking and seething energy as a form of revenge to others. Unfortunately, what I did, not only created the difficult relationships with the very people who loved me, but I also created the living hell I was experiencing emotionally. I carried all these emotions over many incarnations, and left them in my subconscious, unreleased and undealt with, so I never healed them. All these past emotional issues have eventually erupted with force from the organs where they were stored. My dear friend Natalija told me after she did a remote healing on me that I had a lot of thick, ancient, blocked stagnant energy on the left side of the body, from my sacral and root chakras to my feet. It is all this unreleased and blocked stagnant energy that has created the excruciating and lasting pain in my physical organs and whole body! I am, in fact, reaping what I sowed in my many incarnations.
Fear, anger, hatred, grudges, jealousy, guilt, shame and all the ‘negative’ emotions and thoughts are the poisons that permeate our body, mind and soul. When we hold onto them as a weapon of revenge, we can only damage our own body, mind and soul, and hinder our own soul growth. I cannot blame anyone for what I have gone through, but I am taking full responsibility to release and clear this deeply repressed emotional energy through forgiveness, and most importantly, “I am forgiving myself”. The pain has been acting as a mirror, barometer and catalyst for my healing process. Luckily, I have all the people who care and love me in my life to support me. Alan is a powerful healer, he has been giving me healing whenever I needed, and it has helped me greatly to ease the pain. Korinne and Ratna have been very supportive and learning to detach from my emotions; My friends Natalija, Deidre, Linda, Hannah, Kim and many others have been providing me healing, energy and insights to help me heal. I am indeed very fortunate and blessed.
As we are raising our vibration, we will inevitably deal with whatever energy that has been deeply buried within our deep subconscious; sooner or later, more or less. It is part of the journey and process of our soul evolution. Each of us is responsible for asking ourselves the question, “What am I holding inside of me? What is stopping me from moving forward?” If we asked, we would be very surprised at what we hold deep within our subconscious mind! We are responsible for our body, mind and soul; we are responsible for our well-being, nobody else! Do not hold onto any grudge and emotion towards anyone or anything. If we do, the person we hurt the most is ourselves. For sure, we will reap what we sow. Let’s detoxify our body mind and soul through letting go of all of our anger, fear, hatred, jealousy, guilt, shame and all ‘negative emotions and thoughts; forgiving others and ourselves with total acceptance, kindness and respect; learning emotional detachment from ourselves and others; listening to our body and its messages; cultivating a balanced diet and life style and practicing conscious living. Slowly and surely, we will raise our vibration and consciousness much faster, and we will become a much better soul, and we will create a happy reality and a balanced body, mind and soul.