Focus On Your Own Plate!
A strong urge to change my life came with the solar eclipse this January. My unhappiness with a placement in life became unbearable. I knew that the approaching lunar eclipse would bring me to my knees, so I reached out to Jean in the hope of getting a different perspective to assist with my inner healing. I know that if I want to help others as a healer, I have to heal and help myself first. Jean recommended that I write about my childhood memories to assist me to heal my inner child. I wanted to touch that subject in this newsletter. As I began writing some of my memoirs and thinking what is the most important advice/ teaching that my late father left me. It was, “Ivana! Focus on what is on YOUR own plate!” …When I was a girl, I loved to watch other people, especially in restaurants. I liked the food very much and my father always encouraged me to order for myself and to try something new. While waiting for my order to come, I would become mesmerized with other people’s plates and their food. I would lose myself in “la-la land”, thinking how their meal tastes, are they happy with their order and judging their table manners. It was like watching a movie. One day my father scolded me and said I should mind my own business. I have my own plate, empty or full, with food that I like, or dislike and I should concentrate on that. My plate was the result of my decisions and I need to put my energy into my choices and not waste it on other people and their plates!
I was deeply ashamed, because I always wanted to please him and not disappoint his expectations of me. Reliving this experience allowed me to connect with the deep energy I was now feeling. The “aha” moment of realizing that I am wasting too much energy and time thinking of others; how to help, how to please them, and putting everything and everyone else first. Our childhood experiences are a window to our past life patterns, and I was able to see the many past lives where I lived pleasing others and putting myself down, thinking that everyone deserves more, and I brought that trait into this life. My parents, sister, teachers, friends and partners were all assisting me to become aware of my self-worth and to value myself first. They all are trying to show me that me and my wishes matter too. I know my happiness is important to God also and that I don’t have to be pressured to always give to others. I am entitled to receive and once my needs are met, if I choose, I can give to others. I can now see that if I put my needs first and concentrate on myself, I will be showing love to myself and to the God, because I AM his creation.
God will not love me more if I make a martyr of myself. I am here to learn and my first and most important lesson that I have been failing to learn from my incarnations, was to honor, respect and most importantly, Love Myself First.
So, here I am now, working on it over time ;).
How about you?