Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness
We are in the process of great change and transformation as the Earth Plane is raising its vibration. As a human soul, we have all chosen to incarnate on the Earth Plane at this time to take advantage of this opportunity in order to attain great soul growth as we strive towards evolving from the Lower Self to the Higher Self. We are here to break the cycle of fighting, war, anger, hatred, animosity, and all ‘negative emotions’, etc., and to learn to forgive and forget, to have total acceptance, respect, tolerance and to love unconditionally each other so that we can have world peace. Anger and hatred are the energy which is presently responsible for the troubles in the world. Thus, forgiveness is the most important and very necessary energy needed in the world.
Nevertheless, forgiveness is never an easy thing to do because of the Self part of us. It will hold onto our past hurt, wounds and injustices from our soul memory, which will bring anger, frustration, animosity and hatred into our consciousness to create intense emotional pain. When this happens, it is hard to have compassion and forgiveness, because we are immersed in our anger and frustration. The Self-part of us wants to dig the knife in to whoever has hurt us, and to keep us angry and upset although the Higher Self part of us is trying to force us to forgive and move on. It takes great courage and strength to forgive and move on because true forgiveness is not just a gesture or saying, “I forgive”, although having the intention of “forgiving” is the first step and is important. True forgiveness is to allow whatever emotional energy we have deep inside us to come to the surface to be released and cleared. Only when we have cleared the energy from our subconscious memory, then, and only then, can we truly forgive and move forward.
You may ask, “How do I know if I have released the energy?” Believe me, you will know. When you have released and cleared the anger or any other negative emotions towards a certain person, you will notice that no matter what the other person says or does to you, you no longer have an emotional reaction, instead, you find that you can easily detach, and you become an objective observer. Furthermore, once you have released the energy and forgiven, you then open up to a higher energy and this can do so much good in your life.
One of the most profound and revealing aspects in the process of forgiving others is that we will sooner or later experience intense anger towards ourselves. If we think that forgiving others is not an easy task, forgiving ourselves is a far more difficult job than one can imagine. From my own first-hand experiences as well as the experiences of some of my clients, I have learned that as we are in the process of releasing emotions related to our pain and wounds, we come to the time that we become angry, and even experience hatred with ourselves. We are angry at ourselves for allowing this to happen to us; we are angry at ourselves for the choices and decisions we made; we are angry at ourselves for being weak and cowardly and not having the courage to stand up for ourselves. Furthermore, along with the anger is the self-hatred, shame and guilt, which is even worse for us to forgive and to accept.
When I was around age of 10, I had a very painful experience. Out of an innocent heart and naïve thinking, I touched a good friend’s breast with her permission in order to comfort her not being embarrassed by her well-developed breast. I was so happy to be able to comfort her. However, the following day I was condemned by my three childhood friends whom I considered my best and only friends. They called me ‘obscene and dirty’, and they broke off their friendship with me. From that day forward, I never had a chance to talk to them or play with them. Their action invoked deep shame and guilt in me. On that day, I not only lost three best friends, but also carried the heavy guilt and shame as a secret within me. I never told anyone until 2016 when Maitreya asked me to write a book about my life journey. By then, this 52-year-old secret was buried deep within me. Can you imagine how much energy I had repressed in my base chakra?! The energy had become an iceberg lodged within my base chakra. As I was releasing it, it came out as cold energy!
A few years ago, Spirit suggested to me that I do a self-forgiveness exercise. In this exercise, I was told to stand in front of the mirror and look directly into my eyes, then I was to say to myself in the mirror, “Jean, you are beautiful, I love you and appreciate you.” As I was doing the exercise, all I saw was an ugly, disgusting, unlovable and unforgivable person. Because I had so much anger towards myself, and I truly felt so much self-hatred, self-unforgiveness and a sense of being unlovable as if I didn’t deserve to be loved or appreciated. As a result, I could not go on with the exercise, and I stopped after only one day.
I delayed the Self-forgiveness process for two years. Two years later, due to so much physical and health issues, I felt trapped and stuck. It led me to deeper self-healing through self-forgiveness again. This time I was ready to do it after two years of struggle. I finally realized that this was a critical step for me to move forward in vibration. This time when I did the self-forgiveness exercise in front of the mirror, I started crying as I said to myself, “Jean, you are beautiful, I love you and thank you for what you are.” I cried and cried to release the deep anger, self-hatred, shame and guilt I had towards myself. This exercise has taken me further on my soul evolutionary journey. Up to today, I am still doing this exercise, and I still need this exercise. However, I do feel much lighter and have more compassion towards myself.
We all more or less have done something we have considered to be wrong; we all more or less have made mistakes, ‘wrong’ choices and decisions, we all more or less have something that we are not proud of. All these are a necessary part of our learning and experiencing. We made a choice in that moment with the information we had under the circumstances we were, and we did not know any better at the time. We cannot go back and change anything; nothing can be done to return it as to what it was. We must allow ourselves forgiveness in order to move on with our life. If not, the emotions we hold onto within ourselves will fester inside us, causing dis-ease, illness, depression and stopping us from raising our vibration. Only through forgiveness, can we find peace within and be able to move forward in vibration and in higher consciousness.
Learning forgiveness is one of the major life lessons we are here to learn and to experience. Learning to forgive ourselves is an even more profound learning experience. “Forgive yourselves for anything you have persecuted yourself for and open up to unconditional love.” “It is a very highly evolved soul who can forgive another, but an even bigger soul who can forgive oneself.” – Maitreya from Maitreya Quotes App