With this being February, Valentine’s Day will soon be upon us. On that special day, we’ll all tend to focus our Love and Energy to those around us we care about, to convey our feelings and appreciation for them.
For me, since I opened myself up to Metaphysics, I have really struggled with the concept of Love. I’ve often quoted the lyrics from Tina Turner’s song “What’s Love Got To With It, … What’s love but a second hand emotion.” Because on my journey, I’ve chosen to leave some people very close to me behind, and it has been tough trying to reconcile my actions with the concept of Love.
An incident this past week with one of Margaret’s students, highlighted this conflict within me. It was suggested that we take the student’s Aura photograph. Since we had the camera out, we decided to take a picture of each of our Auras as well. I have had mine taken many times over the last 10 years. My pictures typically have a beautiful translucent aqua blue or green color that highlights my healing energy. But this time, my picture was much different. No blue, no green, in fact no color, except for a glowing white luminous ball that completely covered my heart area. I let it pass and forgot about it. It was just another picture on another day, and I had other things to do.
Last night Maitreya chose to give me some insight into the ball of energy that was captured over my heart chakra. He said the energy is trying to open up my heart to loving and accepting myself for all the decisions I have made, not only in this life, but also in my past lives. It made me recall an affirmation that he gave me about 6 years ago about forgiveness of my actions from the past. I still to this day often repeat the affirmation. I guess I knew, but did not want to admit, how deep my pain is. I think now in my second Saturn return, it is coming to the surface, full force, to be dealt with.
We live in the world of emotions that are expressed outwards towards others. The Internet has endless sayings about loving each other. While this may have the best of intentions, for me it has conveniently hindered me from looking inward, while it emotionally traps me in the feel good state of looking outward. I know for me, the pain resides within, and I am thankful that I saw the ball of energy that is trying to assist me to release the pain and guilt from within my heart. It is just trapped energy, created by my actions under the knowledge I had at the time, and the circumstances I was in at that moment. I am not going to change what has already transpired, but hopefully by looking within, I will not only release it, but also gain some clarity that will assist me with my actions in the future.
It is very difficult to assess our actions from a perspective of right and wrong, because it is very difficult to know whether our actions are resolving a Karmic debt, or creating new Karma. I know I have been fortunate, because Maitreya has assisted me to identify the roles each individual is playing in my current incarnation, and the roles they played in my past lives. With that said, all I can say is that the energy dynamics playing out with the participants in our incarnations are quite complex.
I now have a better understanding of Maitreya saying that after trying over and over in numerous incarnations to break an energy pattern, we finally come to a Master and ask for assistance. For me, even with Maitreya’s assistance, the road has not been easy, but I am beginning to catch a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel.
So, on this Valentine’s Day, send yourself a card that speaks to your heart and lets all that Loving Energy flow inward. Put it on your mirror to read everyday. Mine will say, “I release all emotions from the past such as anger, guilt and sadness. My actions were centered on all I knew at the time, based on the circumstances of the moment. I truly accept and love myself for who I am at this moment of time.”
Happy Valentine’s Day