I recently made an observation to someone that I care a lot about, and their response back to me hit me between the eyes like bullet. It really made ponder and reflect on whether I should have said anything or not, because in the end I felt very guilty that I had opened my mouth to begin with. The feeling of guilt was hard to shake.
This metaphysical path leads us down a utopian road that encourages us to be at peace in our own silence, but does this mean that we should always standby as mutes? I have come to understand that in some capacity we are all channels used by those in the Spirit world to give others a message or prompting. In this sense, it presents a dilemma as to when to speak and when not to speak. When am I a messenger from Spirit and when am I just butting in where I don’t belong? What is the right answer?
I guess you could look at it from the perspective of your personality or relation to the other person. Are you a parent trying to do the best for your child, or do you have some knowledge or experience relating to the situation that the other person doesn’t have? This can be a slippery slope though, because from this perspective it may give you an air of authority, or you may feel it is your right from a position of power through your experience or knowledge. It seems so simple from your perspective, because in your mind you are just trying to help the other person and you think you know best. From their perspective, there may be other aspects playing out. It could be as simple as they are tired of you always giving your opinion, pulling rank on them, or on a deeper level, maybe its possible that some past life fear or issue has come to the surface that is affecting them. The simplest answer could be they have chosen to learn from their own choice with no influence from someone else.
For me, this is tough because I have a strong and passionate personality with my Scorpio energy. I also have a Virgo Midheaven, so I can be overbearing at times when it comes to the details. Lastly, I have my Uranus, Pluto and Jupiter in my ninth house, which has as one of its traits things to do with education, i.e. I love to teach. Some would say, with merit I might add, I love to hear myself talk. Then again that ninth house stuff is in Leo, so what would you expect other than a Ta-Dah personality!
I think we can all take a dose of contemplation at times, to reflect on the guidance we give people. Who knows when it is just part of their learning rather than some Spiritual, Parental, or Good Friend guidance we think is departing our lips. I remember an instance with a friend of my son’s that I experienced long before I began my Metaphysical journey. When we would pick the boy up for soccer practice he would always run out the door with a big smile on his face, but no coat in hand. From my parental view, I had quickly deduced that by the time practice was over it was going to be quite cool out and he may get chilled and possibly catch a cold. So, being the good parent, or adult in charge, I would always remind him to go get his coat. Sometime later I happened to be talking to his dad and the subject of him always forgetting his coat came up. Nonchalantly the father said, “Ya, he always forgets it, and I choose not to remind him. So, that when he gets cold he will get to experience the cold, because of the choice he made and learn to remember to think ahead about whether he may or may not need a coat.” This was a completely different perspective to mine, but I couldn’t fault the logic, which ironically was in line with what I learned when I came to study with Maitreya. A bit of advice Maitreya also has given relating to children, is that you should try and allow them to make their own decisions as early as possible. This is an area that I know as I have gotten older that I wish I would have known and had the strength to heed when my children were young. I tried to do a lot of thinking for them, in what I termed was their best interest and what I perceived at the time to be good parenting.
As I mentioned earlier, the other important truth I learned from Maitreya is that we are all channels and sometimes we are prompted by those in the Spirit world to say something to assist another with a choice they are going to have to make. This kind of conflicts with keeping your mouth shut and letting them learn through the experience without your input.
So how do you know when to speak and when not to speak? For me, I think you need to have some truthful inner reflection on who you are, along with what your tendencies are, no matter how noble you think they are. You need to trust yourself to be your own judge and jury. But, when you hand down the verdict, try to choose to change from a perspective of bettering yourself, not from a perspective of guilt on when you have or have not spoken in the past. It was a choice you made, just like it was a choice someone else made to either listen to your guidance or discard it. It was just a choice you made at that moment in time, you can’t change it, but you can reflect and learn from it.
Remember, at the end of the day, YOU are just a Spiritual energy having a physical incarnation and making choices as part of your learning. It’s just an illusion anyway, so why not Let the Guilt Go!