Letting Go of the Past and Embracing the New
Today is the North Node Partial Solar Eclipse at 20 degrees Cancer, and it is the 1st eclipse of the 2nd eclipse season of 2018! I have been feeling the intensifying Eclipse energy building up since last week and it has already had a great impact on me and those around me. In fact, I have gone through a few emotional outbursts relating to the energy of eclipse. I am sure that a lot of people are feeling its effect regardless whether you consciously know the eclipse was coming or not. Solar Eclipse’s always take place during a New Moon and when the Moon blocks the light of the Sun from the Earth. Because the Moon is not able to completely block the Sun, it is called a partial Solar Eclipse. Although a partial Eclipse is considered less intense, today’s solar Eclipse is going to be a highly charged Eclipse, not only because the light of the Sun is blocked by the shadow of the Moon, but also the Eclipse is in exact opposition to transit Pluto at 20 degrees Capricorn. Pluto is the planet of transformation, and when it forms an opposition to the eclipsing Cancer Moon and Sun, it will inevitably touch deeply our emotional energy. It will be very powerful and force us to connect to and to explore the darkest shadows in our deep subconscious. The darkest shadow aspects of our being are the sum total of all our deeply ingrained conditioning, beliefs, patterns, programing, habits, and stagnant energy – fear, anger, hatred, insecurity, power, control, jealousy, judgment, critical, guilt, shame, pride, and all the ‘negative’ emotions. This is the part that has been within us for many incarnations, but we have not dealt with. It has been repressed so deep that we do not even know of its existence or we are afraid to face it even if we know, thus, it still holds the power and control over us, and prevents us from becoming the soul that we are meant to be. This solar eclipse in Cancer, along with the involvement of Pluto will affect all matters of home, family, relationships, traditions, and domestic affairs. It will greatly intensify the instinctual issues related to our feelings about survival, security, safety, and our capacity to nurture and be nurtured, and our deep longing to belong. Most importantly, it will bring new opportunities for us to deal with the unresolved issues that we have been holding onto emotionally and habitually for so long. This energy will push us to resolve these issues one by one. This is what has been going on in my life since we entered the second eclipse season in July.
On a personal level, this Solar Eclipse is in wide conjunction to my natal South Node in Cancer, and my natal Uranus and Jupiter in Cancer, and in opposition to my natal Chiron in Capricorn. This astrological configuration indicates that some possible issues to do with home, family, intimate relationships and authority issues from my past and past lives are activated and will be brought to into my consciousness for me to deal with. Surprisingly, I had no idea how this was going to happen, but don’t worry, this is the Universe’s job! The Universe will utilize every possible chance to assist everyone to move forward with our soul evolution, we just need to be open and to embrace it. For me, the Universe created an event which seemed to be a trivial matter in the beginning, but it evolved into an emotional drama and caused an intense emotional outburst when it touched some unresolved issues residing deep within me. The root can be traced back many incarnations ago when I was a powerless and emotional mother. It involves everyone currently around me. I had an intense past life with each one of them; I was a very emotional, insecure, demanding and controlling mother. As I was venting my anger and highly charged emotion towards them, each of them was greatly affected by my intensity and it also triggered their subconscious energy.
This emotional play was dynamic and intense, and it lasted for a few days. In the beginning, I was completely wrapped in my intensive emotion, it was uncontrollable, and I was simply reacting blindly to the energy. Only when I had released it, was I able to calm down and think. In my morning meditation, I was able to see it clearly. In my astrological makeup I have chosen to have a Jupiter and Uranus conjunction in my natal chart to break the old emotional patterns in dealing with family and domestic matters. My Chiron in opposition to Jupiter and Uranus is setting in motion a crisis or a learning situation in a relationship or relationships through others to tap into within my Chiron wound; my deep fears, deepest traumas, ancient emotional wounds, patterns and blockages. Only by going within to heal from within, can I heal my relationship with them outwardly. The Chiron opposition requires me to see the other persons’ perspective and to take full responsibility for myself, not acting out like a cry baby wanting attention, or being a victim and blaming others. This realization indeed helped me to be more determined to release whatever my Self has been holding onto for so long and to resolve the past life issues for now and forever.
Due to a few episodes of emotional outburst and confrontations that happened during the week before this eclipse took place, I was brought back to the experiences I had gone through during the Total solar eclipse on July 11th, 2010, which was at 19 degrees 24 minutes Cancer, similar to today’s eclipse. The differences between these two solar eclipses are that the solar eclipse of July 11th, 2010 was a south node eclipse, indicating letting go of the past and an ending. I got my diary out the other day and curiously wanted to know what was going on during that eclipse period. I was amazed to know that during that eclipse period, I met so many people that I had past lives with through my job – working at the Maitreya Seattle Center in Redmond, WA. Meeting and interacting with each one of them has enabled me to release so much deep and intensive past life energy, some was released as intensive emotion, some as physical pain. Once the energy was released, all of them moved on, no longer in my life. However, the current eclipse is a North Node eclipse, it is for me to transform the old patterns and habits into a new way of relating to others by taking full responsibility for myself and cultivating gratitude, empathy and compassion to others. Through living and interacting with each of them daily, I am working on my karmic debt, letting go of the need to be demanding and controlling, learning emotional detachment, forgiveness, understanding, respect, gratitude, empathy, compassion, and striving to become a truly gentle and kind soul. The realization this eclipse gave me is that although I have known my past life issues for quite a few years and I have been working on these issues, my Self has been holding on them, not wanting to let go, creating emotional drama from time to time whenever I was least prepared. But this eclipse has enabled me to see through the game that my Self has been playing with me, so I have decided to stop it now and forever. Once I made this determined choice, I have felt the transformation, and something deep within me has been radically shifted. I do feel different, and I feel a sense of true empowerment!
This North Node Partial Solar Eclipse in exact opposition to transit Pluto forces us to have the courage to dive deeply within and face the darkness and unknown of our deep subconscious so that we can reclaim our inner power and create new possibilities for our future. When we are open and embrace whatever challenges or difficulties, a whole new world will emerge where everything is possible.
Look at your natal chart, if you have planets or angles around 20 degrees in Aries, Cancer, Libra or Capricorn, you will be affected one way or another as these planets are in major aspect, such as a conjunction, square or opposition with this eclipse; look to the house where the eclipse falls in your natal chart as this is the area affected by this eclipse. Even if you may not feel its effects immediately, its impact will be long lasting. Take it as a great opportunity to utilize this amazing transformative energy, it will change you and your life positively. Remember, whatever we choose to face and to experience is nothing but an illusion created for our learning. The only purpose of its existence is to assist each of us to let go of whatever we are holding onto because of fear and insecurity. Looking into the darkness of our being and facing our fears and insecurities will allow us to learn the life lessons we have set up for ourselves so that we can evolve to be the soul we are truly meant to be, not the conditioned soul the world has created. Once we have faced and learned from our issues, the illusion is no longer there; once we were blind, but now we can see! We are the power of our own life and we can create a happy and abundant future for ourselves. It is our responsibility. Change is good!