I have heard so many times people asking, “What should I learn and do in my spiritual development?” I also often asked these kinds of questions myself. I understand that I can find all the answers in my natal chart through the knowledge of astrology. Therefore, I have tried very hard to learn astrology. I cannot count how many astrological books I have read and how many nights I could not sleep as I lied in my bed trying to connect my natal chart with my current situation to find out the why, how, what and who of my circumstances. I no longer need to have my natal chart in front of me because I have it memorized. I can see it clearly in my mind’s eye; as soon as I close my physical eyes, I can tune into my natal chart. I have made a very detailed, but straightforward astrological report for myself that includes the aspects, the degrees, etc. I have come to realize that astrology is the foundation to discovering who I truly am. It is the key to understanding the life lessons I have chosen to learn from and the karma I have chosen to address in this lifetime.
I have no hesitation in stating that studying astrology has helped me enormously. It is the best education I could have found for my soul growth. However, to some degree, I am still confused at times about my life lessons. At times, it becomes a constant struggle that not only consumes me, but also is very depressing on a personal level. Why is this you may ask? Isn’t this the tool to complete understanding of who I really am? The answer is yes, but the “Self” part of me sometimes fights mightily to prevent me from seeing the truth.
However, thankfully the Universe is neither deaf, nor blind. It has answered my soul’s request for moving forward spiritually, because it understands my soul’s internal struggle. It always presents a way to show me what I need to pay attention to, what I need to break through, and what I need to learn to allow me to let go….
What is this magical way the Universe always shows me the answer to my struggles? It is the mirrors that the Universe constantly brings into my life to create the opportunities for me to learn from so I can grow into the soul I truly am.
As I wrote in my previous newsletters, I am in my 2nd Saturn Return. The transit Saturn is not only passing through the conjunction with my natal Saturn, but also sitting in my 12th house for the remainder of my 2nd Saturn Return. On top of that, my relocation chart for India has my natal Saturn in conjunction with natal Venus in the 12th house, the house of karma, deep subconscious and self-undoing. My Ascendant is in Scorpio, which indicates that being in India will provide me the opportunities to deal with my karma, past life energy and major life lessons. This situation is enabling me to transform myself by going into my deep subconscious to purge old and stagnant energies that have been trapped for many incarnations. My “Self” knows this; it has been fighting me since we came to the India. My “Self” has been trying to run away from taking full responsibility for my past actions and karma.
Fortunately, the Universe in its infinite wisdom, is always finding a way to bring it to my attention through all the mirroring situations that it is placing me in. The lesson becomes so clear when you see it in the mirror in front of you.
One of my major karmic lessons is around relationships of mothering and parenting. This is indicated in my natal chart where I have the South Node of the Moon in Cancer in 7th house which is the house of marriage and primary partnership, and my North Node of the Moon in Capricorn in the 1st house which is the house of I AM, and my Sun is in Sagittarius in the 1st house. This astrological configuration indicates that in this life, I am here to learn to stand on my own two feet, to be independent, and to be the master of my own life. I have come to understand that I’ve had many past lives where I allowed men to control and dominate my life, because of my fear. I always thought I was just a victim. What I have come to understand is that although I was a victim of power and control, I was also a perpetrator. I would control my children or my domestic environment through my highly charged emotions.
By being in India, the past life energy has been activated by the energy of India. I began having very intense emotions towards to someone close to me. I simply started reacting out of the past life mode without consciously knowing I was doing it. Out of habit, I was blaming the other person for my anger and frustration. One day, Maitreya through Margaret pointed out one of my past life situations in which I was a very demanding and short-tempered mother. I was very frustrated and angry with my son in that life because he did not do what I expected him to do. My “Self” was very unhappy to hear what Maitreya/Margaret told me, because it knows that I have to stop blaming others and start taking full responsibility to make the changes required to allow me to stop repeating the old pattern. Because of my “Self’s” fighting, I did not have a good sleep at all that night. I just could not understand and picture myself acting like that.
The following morning, I received an email from a beautiful Indian girl, who is going through a deep emotional clearing in her relationship with her parents. In her email, she expressed her feelings of frustration, anger and despair that her life is completely controlled by her parents. As I read through her email, it suddenly dawned on me that what her parents were doing to her, is exactly what I did to my children in the past life when I was demanding and controlling. Through her description about what her parents did to her and how she feels about them in her email, the Universe was showing me a mirror to my situation to help me understand myself in that past life, as well as other similar past lives. I could clearly see me in her parents. This realization finally enabled me to understand me in that past life. I was finally able to accept the responsibility and to let go of my anger and frustration. It is just as Maitreya wrote in one of his newsletters, “Every soul who comes into your life is a mirror and a teacher. What you see in another that you do not like, or which annoys you, is what you need to look at within yourself. It is an aspect of yourself which is being brought to your attention.”
Being aware of mirrors is the most direct way to learn our life lessons and to raise our vibration. We often tend to look for solutions to our problems and issues externally, such as through study and learning knowledge, but we ignore what is right in front of us. Raising your vibration has nothing to do with study and education; it has to do with letting go of fear, doubt, pain, hurt, jealousy, anger, frustration, and all of the negative emotions. You will be surprised by what you will learn if you simply look in the mirror at yourself as you relate and react to the people, the situations, and the environments you live in. Paying attention to what aggravates you, along with who and what makes you emotional, will provide you with so much valuable information. Be truthful with yourself. What situations are you fearful of? What or who always creates a strong negative reaction from you? We are able to find the answers to these emotional responses and reactions from within. For, any of our emotional reactions to the external world, no matter whether it is a person or a situation, is simply a mirror reflecting what lies within ourselves. Instead of always reacting negatively towards the person or the situation, ask yourself what the person, or the situation is trying to show you? The more we do this, the faster we can come out of it and move forward in vibration. Often the people we react to intensively with can be our best friends in the world of Spirit, who have chosen to come to help us to learn the hard lessons, to pay our karmic debt, and to release and let go of the past life energy so that we can grow spiritually. Often we are not aware that this is happening to us, unaware that the Self is hanging on to these emotions.
My awareness of mirrors has indeed helped me to understand my emotional actions and reactions. It also has assisted me to allow the emotional energy coming to the surface to be exposed and released by acknowledging it and letting go. Although the process can still get emotionally charged at times, I am able to recognize it and to let it go without holding onto it. I know that the more I let it go, the more I clear it from my deep subconscious, and the sooner I will be able to shift my energy and change the old habit and pattern I have carried for so long.
Look around you, everyone is a teacher and mirror of us; every situation and happening is an opportunity for us to work through our karma, release past life energy and learn a chosen life lessons or lessons. There are no accidents!
Next time when you are in a very emotional situation, don’t run away; don’t blame anyone or anything. Instead, face it and embrace it, you will find that the more you do so, the easier and faster you will resolve it.