Patterns and Resistance

Very often our life experiences are connected and intercepted with past life patterns (I will not say always- maybe there is one lucky person not dealing with karma and past lives?!?) and if aware enough spiritually we can see them clearly.

My patterns are victim, martyr and servant, among others. Victim patterning is connected with the 1st chakra archetype, Martyr with the 2nd chakra and Servant with the 3rd chakra.

My natal chart confirms and indicates root chakra (1st chakra) problems with Saturn being placed in my 12th house and IC in Capricorn as well in 2nd house Scorpio with Uranus retrograde – indicating a connection with past lives. Solution: Unfolding this pattern with strong boundaries. Self-worth issues.

My sacral chakra (2nd chakra) problems are vividly being played out again through 12th house cusp in Virgo and Jupiter (conjunction Saturn) in Libra 12th house. Moon is in 8th house Gemini. Having Chiron in 8th Taurus also and Venus as ruler is indicative for 2nd chakra too being placed on anaretic (karmic) degree in 10th Cancer but conjunction North node in Leo. Being a Martyr and proud to sacrifice myself for some “greater good”. In Body graph my sacral center is open and undefined having just one gate. Solution: to heal my Chiron and Ceres and waking up the Empress within by nurturing and loving myself first.

My solar plexus (3rd chakra) is completely open with no gates. First house of identity is occupied with Pluto retrograde – indicating transformation. Mars and Sun are placed in 9th house of higher mind and Leo is highlighted with North node which indicates moving from south node in Aquarius (outcast/different) and building myself to find my own voice and identity – this life lesson so I can turn toward my Uranus (sn in Aquarius) without losing myself. Esoteric ruler of my Libra Ascendant is Uranus – soul mission. Leo is connected with will power center (heart chakra, 4th) and Venus, Moon, Cancer and Libra sign.  Solution: balance between servant and warrior archetypes – being in service to others but without compromising my own behalf- healthy self-esteem, saying “no” without remorse if it’s not complimenting my purpose also.

How to escape these patterns and avoid health issues?

How to silent our Lower Self and pass through resistance in facing these challenges?

Usually, soul can decide (free will!) to skip some lessons and avoid pain to the next incarnation or different time. Some, as I, are determined to go through hell and back unfolding past lives energies and patterns, climbing up step by step to the highest mountain finding clues and answers.

When you purposely put yourself in solitude, with “no help” – or outer activities which can misguide you again from confrontation with your Ego Self and past lives energies, can be (and it is!) difficult. There is so much resistance even though your mind is having a blast with “aha” moments confirming the same answer with different approaches and techniques.  I’m getting over and over again the same answer with karmic and esoteric astrology.  Again, the same, with evolutionary astrology. Same, with Human design and Gene key. Confirming everything with past life regressions. Channeled messages from Theo and Ascended masters…  I know my soul mission. I am aware of my lessons. Maitreya’s teachings opened my heart and eyes nine years ago and I often wonder where I would have been now if I hadn’t connected? Would I be alive? What life would I be living now?

I’m still healing my past life archetypes and wonder why it is so difficult for me to step out to the spotlight and just enjoy life? I’m not here to be a victim or a martyr. I’m not here to suffer. This final life should be spent in harvesting amazing products of my evolved soul and its contribution.

Yes, I am here to help others but my most important mission should be (for now): “Me, Myself and I.”

May I ask you too, to love yourself during this special month when we celebrate Christ consciousness! To give gifts to others made of kindness and positive energy instead of buying presents? To just enjoy your presence with gratitude to your breath and everything that you already have?

Yes, we can manifest so much more, but first we have to learn to be grateful and content with what we already have.

I wish you all blissful holidays and much more self-love!