In recent months I have had a number of clients who complained of “relationship issues,” almost all of which either included or were primarily based in communication problems. For example, a recent client complained that “he just won’t tell me what is going on, what he is thinking!” After a little probing, it didn’t take her long to realize that communication is always a two-way street and that he was just mirroring her own fear of speaking her truth.
Another client, an elderly gentleman, was afraid to complain to the police regarding a neighbor who hounds him mercilessly. Why? He is ashamed of a childish act he committed at age 10 and is so afraid of being arrested for it given the “police state” which is his reality, his “truth.”
Personally, I avoided discussing either politics or religion with my parents (mostly my mother) for decades. I knew she could not accept my beliefs and that she would press her own views on me constantly until I “got it right.” No thanks! But in truth, I was really afraid of disappointing someone I loved—not being “good enough” by her standards.
What is “Truth?”
You have likely heard it said that “your thoughts create your reality.” That’s not just metaphysics, that’s quantum physics. And your beliefs are your thoughts on steroids! They are your truth. But as Maitreya (channeled by Margaret McElroy) wrote:
• “No human on earth can profess to know the truth, because one man’s or woman’s truth can be another’s folly. No one person can be correct at any time because they are correct only as they see it, not as another person sees it. If another person agrees with that truth then it is good, but it is not wrong to see something different. If you insist on a person taking your truth, then you impinge on their free will. They have to see the subject for themselves and make their own decisions. The decision may be to not accept your truth.” (Maitreya Newsletter #226)
In essence, your “truth” is really your opinion, which may be shared by others to a greater or lesser extent as they choose—or not at all. Still, it is very important to “speak your truth.”
Consequences of Not “Speaking Your Truth”
Since one’s “truth” is almost always charged with a degree of emotional energy, there is always the danger of that energy becoming “trapped” when it is not expressed—usually because of fear. Trapped energy is toxic and ultimately will come out (be expressed) mentally, emotionally, and or physically when the toxic pressure becomes too great. As Maitreya says (Newsletter #164), “Imagine not releasing that energy, but keeping it within you to fester and bubble away like a boil or a big sore on your body.”
Trapped energy often manifests mentally as distorted thinking, compulsive thoughts, etc.; emotionally as fear, anxiety, anger, etc.; and/or physically as disease, acute or chronic pain, as well as inexplicable rashes, bruises, sores, etc. And especially in not speaking your truth, throat, mouth, and/or teeth problems are likely and common. In short, learn to speak your truth or suffer the consequences!
• “All unused [trapped] energy stays within the physical body and in the soul memory. If it is not expressed, it becomes a problem not only in this life, but often in many incarnations to come. The energy has not been cleared and so it stays there waiting for the opportunity in a future incarnation to do so.” (Maitreya Newsletter #164)
There is an old song written by jazz musicians Melvin “Sy” Oliver and James “Trummy” Young (first recorded in 1939) that fits trying to communicate your truth quite well: “It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it, That’s what gets results!” The lesson here is that, anytime you communicate with others, “It’s all about the
quality of the Energy! That’s what gets results!” So, how do you do that? There are actually three different aspects to this question that Maitreya specifically addresses:
1. Speak Your Truth Quietly
So often people finally blurt out their truth in a fit of anger or frustration, but this really defeats the purpose of speaking your truth. Wait to do so until you are more composed, calm, and in control of your emotions. Otherwise, your communication is likely to be misinterpreted or misunderstood at best, and at worst is likely to backfire, making the situation even worse.
• “So many of you say ’Oh, but my friend, husband, lover, mother, sister, brother, father is so powerful, I am afraid of them’, and yet the only power that they have is the power that you give them. Think about it, when you take back your power, they are usually so shocked. I say to those who have difficulty communicating, ‘Speak your truth quietly and clearly.’ You don’t have to yell, shout or argue. What is wrong with saying ’I am sorry, that is your vision, not mine’? ’I’m sorry, I disagree with you’? Yet so many of you in this room are frightened to do just that. You are entitled to speak your truth to another, as long as you do not choose violence or anger. Just speak your truth; release the throat chakra energy. You will speak a lot better if you do so.” (Speech at the United Nations, June 8, 1999)
2. Speak Your Truth Clearly
Think about this. If you are not specific, if you “beat around the bush” trying to avoid potential conflict (fear), you are only exacerbating the communication problem. Ambiguity only invites misinterpretation and misunderstanding. Face your fear and say what is truly in your heart as quietly and clearly as possible.
• “More than anything, allow these experiences to happen; do not run away from them. Face the fear, say what you feel you would like to say but with tact and diplomacy or love, or just speak your truth quietly and clearly.” (Maitreya Newsletter #121)
3. Speak Your Truth with Love
When you speak, do so from your Higher Self (tact, compassion, love, etc.), not from your Lower Self (anger, frustration, etc.). In short, be in control of your emotions rather than allowing them to control you. Remember, you always catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. The same applies to salvaging any and all relationships.
• “I have said to many people over the years that, if you can help one soul on the earth plane, then your life has been worth living. And so we come to the purpose of this newsletter. You can help in our work. The next time someone reacts to you in anger, do not give it any energy. Do not take it personally or give it any energy. Just ignore it. If possible, explain to the person that, while they are angry, you cannot deal with the situation in a civil way. Then wait for a time when they are not so angry and speak your truth about the situation quietly and clearly with honesty and love.” (Maitreya Newsletter #15)
Don’t be afraid to open your mouth, but think before you do so. Yes, sometimes there may be some awkward and even negative consequences in the short run, but each and every time you speak your truth is an opportunity to grow into a better version of yourself—if you allow it. And in the long run, the consequences will almost always be for the better. Remember that.
Have a great month!