Each one of us is on a journey, for some it is a public journey with all the pitfalls that public life brings. For others it is a quiet life, unobtrusive and private, but not without its moments of pain, sadness, sorrow and heartache along with many other emotions. Rarely, does someone go from birth to death without experiencing some kind of pain, suffering, embarrassment or other emotions.
In my own life, after 68 years of existence, my life has been a parody of assorted emotions, from the shyness of being a child, and it was abject shyness to crippling fear later on of all sorts of things. I also tasted elation over becoming a magazine columnist for a top New Zealand magazine, a radio clairvoyant on a top radio show, again in New Zealand, to success in business. But, this was then followed by a business failure, loneliness and a self-imposed imprisonment in India; which ultimately led me to a new beginning and freedom.
You could say my life has not been dull and will not be dull in the years to come, because I am on a journey. We are all on a journey of self-discovery, finding out who we really are, not what we show to the public every day. The difference between you and I is that I have made it a priority in my life of discovering who I AM. It means I have to face myself, be honest with myself, not judge anyone, or what they are doing with THEIR life. I am trying to understand many things about those who surround and support me, both good and bad. I am striving to look at not only what I would call the good part of myself, but the uncomfortable part of me I do not want to look at if it can be helped!
We all want ourselves to be seen as good, kind and generous people, but we are not, because our actions are driven by our fears, doubts and insecurities from our past life experiences. The past life energy consists of many layers, not just one and about 85% of our current actions and perceptions are driven by this past life energy. I have been on the metaphysical path now for over 30 years at the time of writing this newsletter and I am still learning. It is a never-ending path and I allow myself to experience it with every client I see, and everyone I meet in my life. I thought when I began the search for myself it would only take a few weeks and I am now entering into my 30th year. I am always learning something new and in the beginning it all seemed to be bad. My spiritual teacher Maitreya brought everything up from my past lives and this life to be evaluated and learned from. This process didn’t happen overnight.
When Maitreya introduced me to Astrology, it made it worse because I had the exact time of my birth. I could not run away by stating, “well I could be wrong with the timing of when I was born;” because my mother had given me the time and was very sure of it. As I began reading the astrology books, I was reading about me, and it was scary, because it was all true! First of all, I did not like the woman I was reading and finding out about, then I began to understand why I was the way I was then and now. It made so much sense as to why I was experiencing the things I was doing, it also showed me a person I did not recognize, which prompted big change within me. Today I have no resemblance whatsoever to the person who began the journey 30 years ago. I have evolved into someone I do not recognize and yet who is very familiar.
My journey is still happening, and I know it still has a long way to go. I have travelled over muddy roads, freezing cold hills, sweating hot paths and suffered isolation at times; it has been a long journey, but one filled with experiences I would not change for the world, despite them being stifling and very difficult at times. My journey has passed many along the way who have given up on their journey or who have sometimes died along the way; I have had to pass them or find myself joining them and suffering their fate. There have been many who did not even know they were on a journey, they were the ones who found it the hardest to live their life. For me I have discovered who I am; I am not the person my parents raised, nor am I what the Self wants me to be. I have discovered my Higher Self and am slowly discovering her. This woman has let go of much of who she was, and is very happy with the new ME!
Who are you? I will tell you, you are not the person you think you are. You are a soul looking for itself on an earth plane, which is like a Hell. It has molded you into what it wanted you to be with fear, doubt, anger, frustration, jealousy, and other emotions and it has you constantly busy, because it does not want you looking at who you really are. The Self does not want you looking at it; yet if you can look at yourself and look at the positive and the negative, only then can you begin to understand who you are and why you are the way you are. For me 75% of the journey is completed, I am nearing the finish line, but still have not completed the race, but the goal post is in sight, and also the knowledge I will be able to finish the race; my journey.
Presently the Universe is forcing all of us to look at ourselves and the mirror is big; do not turn away, look in the mirror and really see yourself, you will be surprised at what is there!