For me trust feels like a soft bed. It’s big and warm. I can rest there and rejuvenate and even day dream in the comforts of my white duvet! This is an important practise for me and I can easily get lost in my mind attaining a feeling of peace, serenity and security. It is my natural place. Only when my heart starts to feel heavy and I pay attention to how I’m feeling that I realise love is the essence of my nature and it’s your’s too. I am choosing to walk the spiritual path, the path to awareness of everything around me. I really am barely starting to walk and I’m still looking at the pavement as I take my initial steps with trepidation and uncerntainty, but looking up I see the Sun shining down upon me and illuminating my way. This path is so much more fun and I am filled with an inner trust that is so relaxing, but I also tend to loose my grounding and it frightens me. Writing about trust helps me connect again. Something tells me to pause here, to comtemplate my new outlook on trust and I begin to waver ever so slightly and then………Hi again, it’s the new me! I throw my self on my bed to feel how soft it feels to rest….in the softness of the duvey I recapture the trust; lol. I’m more capable writing about it now, or so I think..or should I say feel! Trust is not just about laying down doing no-thing. Trust is flow, a movement. It is like if I were a surfer I would have to be on alert to be capable to catch the next wave. It is a movement without mind, action with spot-on instinct. When the mind is the overseer it probably would go in a fight flight mode and I would probably drown! Trust is being abundant in so many ways. When I feel the feeling inside of trust I’m more relaxed, joyful, hopeful and more giving; Like being in the Now!
It is exhilarating trusting in my own inner guide, trusting in the Universe, trusting that other people are always doing their best. This takes me out of resistance mode. I’m really just like you, trying to stay on my path, a path of resting in my heart and looking at the world from that place. It feels so beautiful. I fall almost everyday in the arms of the monkey mind. But like the toddler I get right back on my tiny feet again. Feeling the trust makes me feel love again. When I’m not trusting, I’m in the mind trying to figure the outcome of things. Not being able to be spontaneous or in the zone takes me under the wave. But after Monday, comes Thursday…ect. There is always a new day to make good decisions, made from a little more experience than before.
So this week I decided to put my apartment for sale; for the third time. I have to choose trust and rest in that place, despite of all the many storys my mind wants to tell me. And my mind tells me stories 24/7 becouse it’s a monkey mind. So my way is to acknowledge it, own it and then release it; it’s a practise. But I will sing my mantra song over and over again. Trust, trust, trust. I can do it, I know I can! Hopefully my repeated patterns won‘t feel needed in my New.…Now moment any more. I really just want to let go and trust. Now I just need to dance, laugh and jump in my bed and let my self fall into the security blanket of the Universe! I imagine: trust is my beautiful big bed and love is my cozy warm white duvey! Good night and sweet dreams. Until next time. But first and foremost I trust in my self.