Repeating Patterns

I had a friend who had been married 5 times and could not understand why she kept attracting the same kind of husband. I explained to her there was something she was not learning, and when she did learn, the patterning would be no more. Husband number 6 came in and this time I offered to help her find out if it was the same pattern, it was. Through astrology I was able to see a pattern was evident, in fact I had the birth dates of three of her husbands and it was quite obvious my friend was here to stand up for herself; to take back her power, communicate her truth and move on. This was something she was not doing. Husband number 6 came in with the same pattern for her to learn. This time around with the new knowledge she was able to fight her fear of speaking her truth and address the issues of taking back her power. She did not give him the free reign to control her and for the first time in her life and her marriages, the relationship began to work. It not only worked, she was blissfully happy!

All of us are repeating patterns; we are all afraid to speak our truth. It is usually because we do not want to upset someone, but often it is because in a past life we did not do that and it has been carried on for a number of incarnations. Our parents may also have conditioned us into being quiet, into not upsetting people or causing problems. We may have been censured at school also. We were given a voice for a reason, but many times we do not use it. Why should we agree with everyone, we are all different, but we can speak our truth without conflict and also quietly.

We are all different to each other; even twins are different usually in personality. One of the hardest things for most people to do is to say what they feel. I remember telling my mother I no longer wanted her to live in my house. She had come to stay temporarily until she could find a permanent place to live, but three years later was still with us. I was getting sick, so was my daughter as my mother aged 77 began to take our energy. She was a beautiful woman, but my health practitioner had told me my daughter and I would not get well while my mother was in the house, and I agreed with her. How was I to tell my mother though?

My mother had taken over the housework and some of the cooking. It had become her house, not ours. She would say things such as “I will wash my curtains today” as if it was her house. I sat around and had no purpose as I allowed her to take over. Finally, one day, not well, my daughter not well either, I told my mother I loved her very much, but it was time for her to move. I cried during the whole conversation and then watched as in great pain, she accepted the situation. We found her a beautiful apartment and as soon as she moved out, my daughter and I began to get well. One month later, my mother without our energy to live off, had died! I agonized over the decision I had made, but I knew it was either my mother or my daughter and I. Had she stayed in our house, I would have eventually become sicker and sicker, as would my daughter. I should have spoken out after a few months of her moving in with us, but I did not and so in a way I prolonged her stay and placed myself in a precarious situation with my health and wellbeing; I also believe I shortened my mother’s life.

Very rarely do we communicate our feelings; yet we were given a voice to do just that. Whether it be parent, partner, friend or even enemy, we do not allow ourselves to speak our truth. We skirt around it, even when asked the question “are we telling the truth?” we admit “yes” even though we are not! While we are not speaking our truth, we cannot move forward, neither can we live the life we want to live. We will continually have people in our life who will create for us the situation we do not like, but yet will not speak out. How can we heal the world if we cannot heal ourselves, if we cannot let people know we are unhappy or do not agree with their choices?

The earth plane needs a giant lesson in communication! Maitreya my teacher taught me a simple way of communicating my truth; before saying anything where I need to speak my truth, I tell the person no matter who they are “I love you very much;” BUT and then I go on to speak my truth. Letting the person know they are loved and having a soft energy in the rant or rave really helps when communicating. I also advocate speaking in a low voice, not yelling and screaming, there is nothing worse than inciting an already difficult situation with yelling and screaming, it makes things worse. I have used this method for over 20 years and it works, it really does.

We are here to STOP repeating the patterns we have set for ourselves; where are your repeating patterns? Are they at work, home, with parents, with children, friends, even pets? What do we need to say, to change so that OUR life changes? Repeating patterns often make us sick, like what happened with my daughter and myself and my mother. For me it was a past life pattern, for my daughter it was starting new in this incarnation, “the sins of the fathers/mother being cast upon the children.” I wonder had we not changed it, if it would have been programmed into my daughter’s child? We often have to hurt people in speaking our truth, but how do we know we are doing something wrong by doing so? I have a friend in Australia who has a problem, a quite severe one, and her family rather than speaking their truth to her, cover for her, stop her from being arrested by the law, even telling lies for her to stop her being arrested and being taken to jail. It would be so much better if they spoke their truth, but nobody will; will this patterning continue in another incarnation? I think it will.

Until we can free ourselves from our patterning, we cannot move forward; yes, we may hurt someone, but we may be speaking our truth to them by doing so. When my son was 8 years old, (he is now 45 this year) a friend spoke her truth to me and I did not like it. She told me something I was doing where I was hurting my son by not allowing him to be who he was. I never spoke to her again and it was one of my deepest regrets. However, she was true in her truth, I needed to hear it; it did not resonate until years later when I was able to see it. She spoke the words of truth and I banished her from my life. Yes, it could happen to you, but thank goodness those words were spoken because it showed me what I was doing to my son and how I WAS holding him back, even though it was a few years later I was able to see the truth.

What are you not communicating? Do you have something you need to say to someone? I hope my writing this Blog may prompt you to get something you have kept inside of you out. It is where the beginning of our dis-ease starts, yes, it can hurt not only the other person, but also us; but better out than in, and you will feel so much better eventually for doing so. Let go of the repeating patterns in your life.